Shifting Perspectives and Empowering the Blind with Sara Minkara

In the second article of Bahath’s #BlindBelievers week, Momina Tashfeen (@MominaTashfeen) speaks to Sara Minkara the founder of Empowerment Through Integration.

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By virtue of her supportive family, tenacious spirit and steadfast faith in Islam, Sara Minkara, has established a life of empowerment and successful entrepreneurship. She is the founder of the nonprofit Empowerment Through Integration and Sara Minkara LLC, both of which offer direction for disability inclusion and education. Having lost her sight at age seven and being a first-generation American-Muslim, Minkara possesses unique perspectives and insight that has been heard around the world. In 2017, she was included in Forbe’s list of “30 Under 30: Social Entrepreneurs” list.

Bahath had the opportunity to interview her recently. We asked about topics ranging from how her nonprofit came to be, to what the Muslim community can do to become more inclusive.

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Societal Perceptions

You often talk about how capable all people are, irrespective of their disabilities. Was this something you had to come to terms with?

Sara: There’s a beauty behind every single creation of God, of Allah. If people see it through that lens, then you actually, slowly over time embrace that and all of your identities in a beautiful way. It’s not a switch of a button, it’s not automatic because, let’s be real: outside of the bubble of “home”, there is that stigma of disability. “You’re less than”, “You're different”, “You’re incapable”, “You’re pitiable”. But my parents and my mom, in particular, brought a certain narrative at home, “you have a purpose in life, you’re going to achieve it, and you’re never allowed to say I cannot do this because I cannot see”. She saw us as individuals with value and potential, and she gave us the space to explore that. So combine that with the imaan aspect, and over time that allowed us to really deal with how society saw us.

I take it a step further though, I don’t like it when people say: “I achieved this regardless of my disability”. When that word “regardless” is spoken that means that you’re seeing disability as a negative. For me, disability is a part of who I am, like anything else. And the greater disability is not the disability of being blind. Blindness, sure, I cannot see, but that’s a technical thing. But to be honest, if that’s all it was, life would be easy. But the greater disability is actually society and the stigmas.

You say it’s very negative to say “overcoming challenges despite my disability”. Could you talk more about the why behind that?

Sara:  If you think about it, why do you see me as inspiring if i’m just living like anyone else and getting married and having kids? When this happens, that means there’s an underlying assumption that this person was never expected to achieve those kinds of aspects in life. If you think about it from a surface level, it might be a positive comment, “Oh my God that’s amazing, what you have been able to do''. But the underlying narrative is I’m not expecting people with disabilities to be able to do that. That subtle narrative is very harmful. It’s not intentional with most people, over time the narrative will be engraved in you. For me, I am blind, which means I cannot see. It’s technical, so don’t take it further. Don’t create assumptions towards what that means. Ask, and I’d say be curious through a lens of compassion. Don’t be curious through the lens of an assumption.  The assumption is what really hurts and creates social stigma. Whereas if you ask, ask, I'm fine with that. “How do you do this?” ‘Tell me more about your work and how you do it” vs.“Oh my God it must be really difficult for you to do your job”.

Sara riding a bicycle.

Out in the snow.

Can that narrative be a two-way street? In that, society projects these assumptions onto the disabled, and the disabled might subscribe to those assumptions as a result.

Sara: Imagine everyone around you is pitying you, you’re going to end up embracing that and it’s going to become a vicious cycle. And I’ve seen that across the globe through my work. And there’s no blame on them, it’s a cycle. It can reach a point where a disabled might say “Oh I can’t work” or “I need help”. We need to cut that narrative. And the unfortunate part is when we disrupt that narrative we end up only disrupting it on the disability front. “Let’s empower the people with disabilities. Let’s give them the tools to be empowered. Let’s give them the love.” But to be honest, empowering them and then putting them into a really harsh world? That’s not accepting them.

To those in the blind community who don’t have adequate support or education, how different of a life are they living?

Sara: Through my work at [Empowerment Through Integration], where we work with blind kids across the globe on the empowerment and integration aspect, we also work with families and their communities because it’s not enough for a blind kid to be empowered. For example, in Lebanon, blind kids are not given the white cane and that’s because of the stigma. And I’ve seen that even in Thailand and other places. We brought the kids to our program and told them about the white cane, and the younger kids loved it. They said, “Oh my God this is giving me independence, this is amazing!”. But then you have their family coming back and taking the white canes away. You then have the older kids refusing to learn how to use the white cane because they understand the stigma attached to the white cane. We realized that our work has to be the kids, the family, educators, community members, policy members, across the board, all kinds of stakeholders.  

Sara with a blind child at an event in Lebanon.

I remember meeting a member of parliament in Thailand who was blind. And he said when he would go back to his village, his mom would tell him not to use the white cane because of the stigma, even though he’s a member of parliament! So, it’s everywhere. Whether you are a successful person or not, it’s there. The saddest part is that I see kids, where their potential is being lost and it’s because they are not being given the space and opportunity to be recognized, seen and heard. But it’s also not fair to say “well, they need to pull their boots up by their bootstraps” either. You can’t expect that from them if they’re not given that opportunity or chance.

Muslim Community

What can you speak to on this topic regarding the Muslim community in particular?

Sara: Does the Muslim community even see the value in including people with disabilities in their community? Or do they see it through a charity lens?  I want it to come to a point where the community says, “We want to include people with disabilities because they are valuable”. We need to include them across the entire framework. From leadership to programs to infrastructure, not just putting them in a corner in a special project classroom. I’ve had a lot imams say, “Well, we don’t have a lot of disabeled people here.” You don’t “have” them because you don’t see them because they don’t feel welcomed or valued. But they are there. To be honest, with most imams, it’s not malice, it’s just lack of awareness. 1/7th of the world population is people with disabilities. I’ve been to places in a mosque and I feel like eyes are on me and I’ll hear it, “Ya haram”. If I’m being seen as a charity case always, I’m not going to come back. Seriously, if a person feels like they’re valued, they’re going to be there. How many of our infrastructures are built accessibly? How many of our khutbas have captions or interpretation? How many programs are accessible to the blind? But over time, I have seen the growth.

Sara speaking at an event with a microphone in hand.

Educating ourselves comes first of course, but what’s the next step after that for Muslims to be more inclusive?

Sara: There’s a phrase in the disability world, “not being about us, without us”. Unfortunately, everything about us is created without us. It’s a wide range of aspects. Yes, it’s great you have braille Qurans. That’s a great, amazing thing, but it’s so much more than that. Imagine someone who is hard of hearing or deaf during Ramadan or something, they have to learn through lectures online, especially during COVID, and none of the lectures are captioned. Imagine how isolating that is. The issue is the leadership across a lot of those communities are not even thinking about it, it doesn’t even cross their mind. So, it starts with a) communication, b) recognizing that there’s a disability community that is diverse in terms of who they are and what they need, c) wanting to integrate them and have them learning. Let’s take it a step further, how can we learn from them too?

Nonprofit and Social Enterprise Work

Empowerment Through Integration: How did it come to fruition? What’s the timeline there?

Sara: Sophomore year in college, is when it happened. I was an economics major, and I never thought in a million years that I’d actually start a nonprofit, I was actually on the path of doing a PhD. But then in my sophomore year of college, I got a grant from the Clinton Foundation to run an inclusive summer camp in Lebanon, where my parents are from. We brought together blind and sighted kids. The purpose of the camp was to show the value of inclusion. It was powerful for the kids, for the parents and for the Lebanese community at large. But it was also very powerful for me I feel like that was the first time I ever stood up to my Lebanese community and said, “I’m proud to be blind”. That was an impactful summer, but I didn’t think anything would change. Then in my senior year of college, my thesis advisor told me, “Sara, why are you applying to a PhD program? That summer camp, your eyes sparkle when you talk about that summer. Go pursue that.” I founded EIT when I was a senior in college, and I’ve been running it for the past 10 years.

What can you tell me about your “Discovery in the Dark” event?

Sara: The workshop comes from the point of when you remove the lens of sight, you actually have a greater vision because you’re not able to make assumptions of who that person is. There’s a power behind that because 85% of what we take in is visual. But imagine you’re in a space where you’re meeting someone without seeing them. Our goal is to first, recognize your assumptions, do away with them, and have one assumption of when you meet a person for the first time that this person has something beautiful to contribute. Apply curiosity through a lens of compassion through everything you do and all your interactions.  When you start doing that you start moving towards a space of authentic inclusion.

That’s similar to the concept of Hajj. To what extent has Islamic teachings influenced the work you’re doing?

Sara: The workshop isn’t an Islamic workshop but Islam has influenced how I thought about life and the world. And it goes back to this point of,  we are created by Allah, Allah is the most loving, there is a purpose and beauty behind how we were created. With that, it begs the questions, how can we see others through this lens of ‘isms’? How? If we see others through a beautiful lens that Allah is the one who created them, there’s power in that. There’s empowerment in that. There’s strength in that.

Sara helping two children at an event in Lebanon.

Allah will never put His servant through evil. But He does have tests. And I truly believe these tests are a way to get closer to Allah. Allah tests those he loves the most, so to be honest, I’m loved by Allah. I’ve always said my blindness has been the biggest blessing and people respond “what?”. I’ve had people say to me, “it’s a curse”, “it’s a punishment”, they’ve said it even to my parents. 

Final Thoughts

What’s some of the feedback you tend to commonly hear from people?

 Sara: “Wow, I never thought about it like that”. That’s why I say it’s not malice. I do believe that most hearts of people are huge and beautiful and they want to be kind and compassionate. But I also know that we need to recognize that as humans, and I speak even to myself, we’re part of what creates these narratives. I am part of what creates these ‘isms’, we all are. It’s that recognition and being compassionate to yourself and curious with yourself, how am I contributing to this narrative? Whether it’s through the disability narrative or race or gender narrative. I think it’s so important for us to not only see what are the issues in this world but also how we are contributing to these issues. Look within first.

Could you speak to any improvement in society since when you started ETI?

Sara: From what I’ve seen, it’s very gradual. It’s similar to racial or gender conversations, it takes years or decades. Our narrative of inclusion through a value-based lens is not a common narrative even on an international development level. And if you start seeing it from a value-based lens, things shift. You start having corporations that want to include disabilities. You start having schools wanting to include students with disabilities. We’re still far from that narrative.  

But we’ve definitely seen it on a smaller, familial level. Last summer, when I was in Lebanon, three volunteers came up to me and they said, “Sara, we used to be participants of the camps and programs years ago, and now we’re back as volunteers. And because of ETI, we’ve been able to go to college and feel empowered.” Seeing it on that level, for sure there’s been a change.

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You can check out all the wonderful work being done at ETI over on their website: etivision.org

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Author: Momina Tashfeen

Follow Momina:

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Meet The Blind Muslim Couple Behind America’s Braille Qurans

Momina Tashfeen (@MominaTashfeen) speaks to Nadir and Yadira Thabatah the couple behind Islam by Touch a non-profit organisation that raises awareness and provides resources for the Blind Muslim community.

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At a cursory glance, co-founders and husband and wife duo, Nadir and Yadira Thabatah, are an unusual pairing by most standards. Their dynamic defies societal expectations, considering Yadira is entirely blind and Nadir is legally blind.

They have often been told how inspirational they are as parents, members of society and founders of a nonprofit, all of which they’ve remarkably managed ‘despite being blind.’

Given their successful endeavours, admiration is certainly warranted. However, the compliments prefaced by “despite your disability” can be highly vexing. On a surface level, it’s seemingly innocent, and yet it can be offensive considering the buried assumption that disabled individuals are generally not expected to curate accomplishments. It’s that subliminal perception, mostly possessed inadvertently by society, that Nadir and Yadira are working to get rid of.  

“When you are disabled and blind, people assume that you can’t. They insert whatever activity, thought or goal it is, then precede it with a “you can’t”. And that comes from the idea of what the abled body person thinks they would do in that situation. So to assume is very short-sighted,” said Yadira.

This perception leaves room for a double standard, especially when parenting is involved.  

While everyone has their motivation for adhering to the pandemic’s regulations, there’s an additional layer of risk for parents who are disabled, said Nadir.

“When something happens to a child that has no parents with disabilities, people say, ‘oh, it happens’. But when you’re a blind parent, and something happens to your kids, that’s not the case. It’s because “you’re blind and you shouldn’t be a parent’,” he said.

As a family, they’ve had to pay the repercussions of societal projections.

Husband and Wife Yadira and Nadir pose for a photo.

Perhaps the happiest of days in a parent’s life is the day their child is brought into this world - that was certainly the case for Nadir and Yadira. And yet, that joy was interrupted and quickly replaced with horror and panic.

Their eldest child, Abdallah, was born perfectly healthy but remained in the hospital for a week upon his arrival after a nurse assessed that the couple were unfit to be parents due to their disability.  “Who is going to help you take care of your kid?” was the nurse’s biggest question and concern.

The new parents threatened lawsuits and called on their community to advocate on their behalf.

But their situation is far from unique. Discrimination against Blind parents has become a prevalent enough issue that legislation has been introduced. In 2018, some U.S states including Ohio and Nevada have passed bills preventing government agencies from having children removed from Blind parents and denying Blind foster parents consideration for adoption on the basis of their disability.  

It’s further proof of the disabled community lacking basic rights.  

“Being a Blind parent is actually not the difficult part, the difficult part is having to deal with society who is deciding for you what box you should be in. They tell you what you can and cannot do because it makes them uncomfortable otherwise,” said Yadira.

Even the prospect of marriage or children for a Blind or disabled individual is considered outlandish. It’s seldom heard of because they’re viewed more as “furniture'' or a “blip” on society, and so there’s no expectation to be married, said Nadir.

Their personal journeys encouraged them to start a nonprofit together, Islam by Touch, the first North-American Muslim organization working to provide English-Braille Qurans and Islamic resources to the Blind community.

“There’s been braille Qurans for decades. But we’re the first to take an English translation that scholars recommend and put it into braille. And not only to put it into braille but also to properly format it. Some things don’t fit or translate easily into braille, like footnotes,” said Nadir.  

For Yadira, who is a revert to Islam, the lack of accessible Islamic literature and Da’wah material was alarming to her and served as one of her motivations to start Islam by Touch. Filling that void has propelled the nonprofit to the forefront of efforts intended to facilitate the integration of Blind individuals into the Muslim community.  

Aside from producing the Braille material, they ensure quality is accounted for, a measure that can be neglected during the production of Arab produced Braille Qurans overseas. Arabic Braille Quran readers have told Nadir that their copies are riddled with mistakes.

“We take pride that we have proofread the entire master copy. It’s strenuous and a lot of work but if you want quality and you want to maintain the accuracy and make sure that information is being given in a proper manner. Especially when you get a non-Muslim asking for the Braille Quran so they can read and learn. Then we’ve also had Muslims who are so happy that this exists,” he said.

Nadir at a computer screen opening up a translation program to begin printing of Volume 2 of the complete set of the Quran.

Islam By Touch at the Islamic Society of North America convention.

While one aspect of the organization focuses on providing accessible material to the Blind community, another focus is on educating the sighted community on how to appropriately interact and treat Blind and disabled people.

The education facet often takes the form of Khutbas or “Family Night” workshops at mosques. It can often be a source of bafflement and mild agitation for Nadir because it exposes how misunderstood and underestimated the Blind community is by society. 

“But what if something had happened to you? Like a car you didn’t see coming?”

Nadir stares at the community member who posed the question, taking a deep breath in order to maintain his chill before delivering his response.

“You don’t have to physically interact with them in order to help them,” he counters. “We’re not talking about extreme circumstances where a car might hit me. All you have to do is ask a simple: ‘do you need help?’.”

Often in these workshops, Nadir asks participants to reenact what they would do upon seeing a Blind person with a walking stick waiting to cross the street. He has presented this scenario to diverse congregations across masjids in America and without fail, there’s always someone who admits to grabbing the Blind person by the arm and forcing them across the street.

Being visually impaired himself, he has heard and experienced this response ad nauseum.  

“I’m from Jersey, you grab me like that and we’re going to fight,” Nadir jokes with the crowd.

He realizes their good intentions, however, he holds the belief that good intentions are meaningless if the outcome serves to offend.

“Ask first before you act because the last thing you want to do is offend,” he advises. “If you want to gain Allah’s favour, the last thing you want to do is offend a brother or sister. So much can be shrouded in good intentions but if you offended me then what good is your intention?”

Wrestling with the Muslim community’s perception of Blindness has been a real challenge. Often, disability is perceived as a curse or as an opportunity for charity. Those perceptions are what initially deter Blind and disabled individuals from coming out in public and when they don’t show up, no one bothers to supply resources for them, said Yadira.  

Nadir in Denver, Colorado before an event at a mosque.

“Imams will often say they don’t know any Blind Muslims in their area,” she said. “People say they don’t know blind people, but we’ve deduced that they’re there, but you have nothing for them. 

Additionally, there’s an extreme lack of education in the Muslim community regarding the Blind community. For Yadira, who uses a guide dog when going out, she has had numerous encounters with disgruntled Muslim Uber drivers.

“I have lost count over how many times over the years I have been refused a ride or how many times I’ve had to report a driver. The problem has been so pervasive that Uber has put in a specific ruling, where on the app, there is a specific prompt that says, ‘are you having service animal issues?’,” she said.

The normalisation of guide dogs is hugely important to the Blind community because it offers them a means of independence - which is generally a foreign concept to many sighted, and even Blind people, said Nadir.  

“This is very big within our community. There’s this disconnect between what reality is and what people think it should be. I’ve met so many blind people, Muslim and non-Muslim, that are absolutely helpless,” he said. “They can’t do anything for themselves. Why? Because their families and their parents and surroundings and the environment have not been conducive for them to be independent.” 

In many cultures, Blind people are treated differently, according to Nadir. It’s extremely rare for a Blind woman to be married. While Blind men are encouraged to, so that someone may take care of them. Urging and educating the Blind community on how to live more independently is an initiative Islam by Touch hopes to one day launch.

“We would love to send someone to a Blind person’s household and teach them orientation and mobility, like how to use a cane. Or to teach them something known as independent living, like how to clean up your environment or how to cook things, or iron and all of these things. We would love to do that, but you need to hire employees. You need people that have degrees in these themes,” said Nadir.  

As imperative as the education on the disabled front is, the implementation is costly, and the current cost of operation is already high.

An HP colour printer might cost anywhere between $100-200, but a non-mass production Braille embosser printer cost $5,000. The hidden costs of production fall everywhere, from the type of paper to the sheer amount of volumes it takes to produce one full Quran.  

“It’s stupid expensive. Just for a pack of braille paper, it cost $50 for 1,000 sheets of paper,” said Nadir. For perspective, the same price could purchase 5,000 for regular printed paper.

“A 50 pack of covers, to cover 25 books, is $100. It takes 10 volumes to make up one Quran. There are 20 covers right there,” he said. “ I then take those boxes, 3-4 boxes, at a time to the post office and ship them out.”

The total cost of one copy, including production, maintenance, and distribution is $250. And yet, despite the pricey process, Islam by Touch provides Braille Qurans free of charge.

“The blind community is a very poor community. 75% of the blind community and the visually impaired, live at or below the poverty level,” said Nadir. “Even within that accessibility space, everything is expensive. Almost every accessible tool we have is extremely expensive.” 

Lack of funding is one of the organization's greatest issues, and after COVID-19 ravaged the world, Nadir and Yadira took themselves off of the payroll. Their organization for the nonce will continue to produce and ship out Braille Qurans, however, the duo remains optimistic and insatiable.

“Alhamdulillah, I’m so happy with what we have achieved in such a short amount of time. When it comes to Blind and Muslim, we are the first name that comes up. Within four years of doing this by ourselves, I think that’s an amazing achievement,” said Nadir. “Over 450 braille Quran’s being shipped around the world is awesome. But we have so much more we could be doing.”

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You can check out all the latest work being done at IBT by checking out their website. You can also make recurring or one time donations via their website to help support their wonderful work.

www.islambytouch.com

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Author: Momina Tashfeen

Follow Momina:

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The Muslims at the Frontlines of Muslim Foster Care

We’re all probably familiar with the efforts of Islamic charities who run orphan sponsorship programmes; but for many Muslims, the aid starts and ends there. We’re also aware that there are children being removed from their homes and placed into the foster care system, but some likely don’t realize that a proportion of these children actually come from Muslim families. The reality, however, is that there is a shortage of Muslim foster parents to provide these refugee and domestic foster children with Muslim homes. As a result, most of these children end up in homes of other faiths and have great difficulty retaining their Islamic identity.

The Muslim Foster Care Association (MFCA) was founded in 2016 by 2 Muslim foster parents, Ranya Shbeib and Sameena Zahoor to address this reality. MFCA works to provide services for these children, educate and support their foster families, and encourage the Muslim community to fulfil the Sunnah of caring for orphans, by becoming a licensed foster parent.

We spoke with the co-founders of MFCA and asked them a few questions that set the current scene and further expounded on how important it is for Muslims to be leading the efforts of foster care.

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Could we start by having you both tell me a bit about yourselves?

Ranya: “When my husband and I first started fostering three years ago, we realized the resources and support we needed didn’t exist in our Muslim community to help us through this journey. We struggled to find someone with firsthand experience that we could turn to.  A mutual friend connected me with another licensed Muslim foster parent locally, Sameena Zahoor [co-founder]. Sameena and I became each other's support. During this time, the topic of foster care became more popular. Many people started to direct their questions to us. It was through this experience that we realized we needed a nonprofit organization to help raise awareness and to network with other nonprofits and support the families that are fostering and the kids that are in the system. We realized we had firsthand experience that others could benefit from. Agencies and organizations were contacting us for information because although they had been working in foster care, they just didn't have the experience that we were able to provide.”

Sameena: “I’m a working family physician and live with my husband and 3 boys in Michigan. My husband and I have lived in MI for over 30 years and love our Muslim community that we are both active in. Our family became licensed for domestic foster care in 2011, and our first foster son came home in 2012, just two hours after accepting the placement over the phone. Our 5 1/2yr old foster son literally came into our home with only the clothes on his back, a small back-pack with some toys the agency gave him, an extra pair of pants, and a small blanket. Even though we have 3 boys of our own, we learned very quickly that foster parenting was not going to be like parenting our own children. As Ranya said, we found each other in 2015 when we were looking for other Muslim foster families for support and advice, and we have been good friends ever since. Our mutual desire to improve the lives of Muslim foster children led to us working together professionally, to establish MFCA in 2016.”

Is there an Islamic aspect to what your nonprofit does?

Ranya : “Yes. We're able to fill in that gap that some of the foster care agencies haven't been able to fill within the Muslim community. We're able to create that bridge within the Muslim community. We're able to communicate with agencies and let them know what the specific needs of Muslim foster children may be. For example, when it's Eid, we have a campaign where we provide Muslim foster children with Eid gifts. We also have a program that we started where if a Muslim foster child is matched with a Muslim family to celebrate Eid with. Providing that connection to Islam for the child and for the family caring for the child. It may even be just answering simple questions for families of other faiths that are fostering Muslim children, such as explaining to them, the hijab or explaining salah to them or things like that.“

Sameena : "Absolutely! The establishment of the Muslim Foster Care Association was inspired by the hadith where the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) is reported to have said that “I and the one who cares for an orphan will be in Paradise like these two”  (holding up His two forefingers). It is in fact currently the quote that headlines our website home page." 

In addition to that, our Mission statement clearly states the Islamic centre of our non-profit:

“To answer the call of our faith in caring for orphans, by improving the lives of foster children and supporting the foster families who care for them, through community education, support networks, and advocacy.”

Given your experience, what are the different reasons that a Muslim couple, or a Muslim, would foster? What was your reasoning?

Ranya: “My intention, and the main driving force for me, was I realised that there's such a shortage of licensed foster homes and then there's even more of a shortage of Muslim licensed foster homes. Undoubtedly there are Muslim children in the foster care system and the vast majority of them are with families of other faiths. That's not to say that they're not with good families. I'm sure they're with wonderful families, but are they losing that connection with their faith? I felt an obligation to the greater good of caring for children that need a home. I'm a Muslim that can provide a home for children that need a Muslim home. I really felt compelled that these children are no different than my own children. And I really felt that I had an obligation. I had no excuse not to provide a home for them.”

Sameena : “In 2011, My husband and I attended a masjid presentation about foster care help by Muslim Family Services, a long-standing social services organisation in Detroit. We were so surprised to hear about the growing number of Muslim foster children entering the system, and even more concerned when we heard that the number far outweighed the number of licensed Muslim families to place them in. As a result, the majority of Muslim foster children were being placed in homes of other faiths.  So, even though we had 3 children of our own, and both were working, we couldn’t let ourselves turn away from this fard kafaaya (communal obligation) for these children.”

Why do you think there is a shortage of Muslim foster parents?

Ranya : “It's interesting because fostering is really part of our faith tradition. It’s a part of the Sunnah. People have moved away from it and now to try to bring them back to it, I think it's going to take a change in mindset. Fostering changes your lifestyle and changes your family dynamics. People need to go into fostering knowing that there are going to be changes and challenges, but in the end, InshaAllah, the reward is just tremendous.”

Sameena : “I think because people are busy with life, work, their own families. Most Muslim families probably don’t even realise that these children exist. Those that do become aware, probably feel it’s someone else’s responsibility, worry that these children are too hard to care for, and perhaps don’t feel qualified to become foster parents. The truth is, as Ranya said, this is a communal responsibility.  You don’t have to be a perfect parent to be a foster parent, just care enough to try.”

Would you say there's a difference between foster care in the secular sense and Islamically?

Ranya : “Not so much. In both the goal is really doing good for humanity and taking care of a very vulnerable population, children. That is the goal.”

Sameena: “Fostering is very much in line with the Islamic sense of the word.  As a foster parent, you are providing a temporary guardianship over children that have no qualified parents or guardians to care for them. Of course, there is the added consideration of non-mahram interactions with them once they hit puberty.  However, these rules for having them in your home are no different than if you were to have your extended families’ or friends’ older kids stay with you, and I know plenty of joint families that live together.”

So what are some serious challenges that a would-be foster parents should consider when thinking about fostering?

Ranya : “If you have birth children, the biggest challenge is having your children adjust to the change. As adults we see the bigger picture and we understand inshaAllah what the reward is. However, this is difficult to explain to children and is more difficult for them to comprehend, especially when they don't see other families in the Muslim community fostering. Other challenges I would say is really the time commitment. Fostering really is a time commitment. “

Sameena : “I agree with Ranya, that the additional time commitment and unpredictable adjustment of your own biological children to the foster child are the biggest considerations prior to fostering.  With that being said, the support of family and friends and faith in Allah SWT can really help that transition period go more smoothly than you initially think.”

Could you expand on that?

Ranya : “Sure. Every child needs care and attention. Foster children especially need care and attention. They've all experienced some level of trauma. There are also regular visits and appointments with caseworkers, possibly lawyers and birth parents. There may be extra doctor appointments and therapy appointments. Foster children require even more time and care."

Sameena : “The extra time you have to initially give your foster child, can take away time from your other kids.  If they are very young, they may not understand why you have to take care of some else’s child, and sometimes jealousy can naturally arise. Just as with your own children, some of them get along better with each other than others, and that doesn’t change when a foster child comes into your home.  Some of my kids became very close with some, and others did not, it’s not always in your hands, so it’s best not to expect perfection.  It is, however, ultimately an important lesson you are teaching your children by example, and hopefully will have a positive impact on them when they themselves become adults inshaAllah."

Focusing on the positive for a second, what are some highlights that would-be foster parents should consider when thinking about adoption or fostering?

Ranya : “It's incredibly rewarding. InshaAllah, other than the reward that we are promised in the afterlife, there are the rewards that you can see here, when you see the foster child growing and progressing and benefiting. That alone is very rewarding to see that positive change in them once they're provided stability and a loving home and the support that they need. There are also rewards I see in my birth children. For them to have this eye-opening, firsthand experience of how other children in the world live. I firmly believe that fostering is an experience that will make my children more globally minded. And it’ll build their character. As they grow up, they'll have stronger character and make them more compassionate people. Our first fostering experience was with my refugee foster daughter who was from Somalia and she lived with us for two and a half years. For my kids to see a child that grew up in a refugee camp that came to this country and was learning the language and learning the culture is incredibly valuable. To know that the life that other children lead around the world is very different than the very comfortable life that my children have lead.”

Sameena : “Our children are privileged, and have no idea what challenges many kids are dealing with. Fostering gives these children and their stories a face and a reality you can’t hide from.  Learning to live with people from different socioeconomic/ethnic/life experience backgrounds is a challenge as well as a positive skill that fostering can bring about.  While you’re going through the experience you don’t see many of the positives, until you step back and see how far your foster child has come by way of their academic progress, health,  self-esteem, and understanding of his/her faith, SubhanAllah!"

From your experience in foster care, do you see more foster parents fostering children domestically or abroad? Including refugees.

Ranya : “So there are only 22 cities in the US that have services and agencies with the refugee foster care program. We're very fortunate here that there are two cities in Michigan that have refugee foster care programs. There are some people that are very interested in refugee foster care, but depending on where they live, their only option may be domestic foster care. There are pretty significant differences between refugee and domestic. One of the main differences is that refugee foster children are usually older teenagers. They are coming from another country, so they have to learn the language and learn the new culture. With domestic foster children, the goal is always reunification with their birth parents, whereas the refugee foster children, their birth parents are either deemed missing or deceased.”

Sameena : “The awareness is slowly increasing in the Muslim community about foster care. As more families become licensed, foster and support one another, the experience will only become more positive and encourage others to do the same, inshaAllah.”

Why is there a shortage of refugee fostering agencies?

Ranya : “There's always a list of refugee foster children that are waiting to be matched with a licensed home in the US. Even once they're approved, they stay in the refugee camp of the country that they're in until they can be matched with a licensed home. Why is there a shortage of licensed homes? Why even in the Muslim community, although this is part of our sunnah, why is there a shortage of licensed Muslim homes? My very frank answer is I think people aren't ready to sacrifice their very comfortable lives. I think our Muslim community is very good at supporting things financially and making donations but when we ask people to give up their time and to welcome somebody into their home -That's a very difficult thing for many people.”

Is this something that your nonprofit also advocates for?

Ranya : “Yes, we do try to raise awareness and encourage people to become licensed because essentially what we need is more families licensed since there is such a shortage. Part of our goal is making sure that those families, once they are licensed, don't burn out and that we support them.”

Sameena : “Increasing awareness and encouraging more Muslim families to become licensed foster parents is just one part of MFCA’s goals.  We want to make sure that our focus, however, remains supporting Muslim foster children and the families that care for them.”

What kind of resources do you have available to new or future foster parents?

Ranya : If they have any specific requests, we try to meet those requests. When a Muslim child first enters the foster care system, we hope to be notified so that we can give them what's called a ‘Welcome package’. This package contains some personal hygiene items, as well as some faith-based items like a Quran, prayer rug, hijab for the girls and even some information about MFCA so that the child can continue to be connected with us. We know that the majority of foster kids will be with families of other faiths. We want to make sure we are also supporting the families that care for the children.

One of the programs that we've coordinated recently, with another local nonprofit is a car donation program. We are trying to collect donated cars so that we can hopefully match foster children that are going into independent living, with a car to help them out with transportation.”

Can you walk me through the process of becoming a licensed foster parent?

Ranya : “Sure. The very first step to becoming licensed is attending an orientation at a local foster care agency. Orientations are about two hours long and if a person is married then both they and their spouse are required to attend. After attending an orientation, the application process starts. The rest of the process entails home visits, interviews, background checks and training. Training entails attending different workshops to prepare a prospective foster parent with what to expect with fostering. The entire licensing process takes between three to six months. For my family, it took us three months because we were pretty motivated and were able to get through the process fairly quickly.”

What does the future look like to you, what's the vision here?

Ranya : “We have had so much interest from different nonprofits, from families that are licensed, families that want to become licensed, and even interest out of state. We know that there's definitely a gap that we need to fill, and it's happening very quickly. Our biggest challenge is trying to meet that level of demand. Because we are a new nonprofit, we are still trying to build our foundation and increase our manpower to meet this demand. We do know for certain that there is a need for our organization and our vision is every child in foster care, not just the Muslim children, is in a safe, loving, stable home where their needs can be met. We believe Muslim communities should be at the forefront of this. We should be the ones leading this. This is part of our Sunnah and right now it kind of seems like we're still late to the game. We're still trying to catch up with things. There is a lot of work to be done.”

Sameena : “As Ranya stated, our mission and vision are very clearly stated on our website.  We have both been encouraged by the interest in MFCA from our local communities, as well as through inquiries from other states.  We are hoping to build on the momentum of interest in foster care, and increase our capacity as an organisation.  We hope to eventually not only provide tangible help and support to local Muslim foster children and their families but position ourselves to advocate for them and their unique needs to private and government foster care agencies, inshaAllah. Our hope and faith are ultimately in Allah SWT to put barakah in our efforts and provide us with the funding necessary through our Muslim communities to fulfil this communal responsibility.  As Ranya accurately stated, we are late to the table and we need all hands and dollars on deck to get the work done, inshaAllah!”

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Thank you to Ranya and Sameena for taking the time out to talk to us about MFCA and the amazing work they're doing. Help support MFCA by checking out their website and considering becoming a foster parent yourself. 

https://muslimfostercare.org/

Stay up to date with all of their work by following them on social media.

Facebook - Twitter

Header Photo by Charlein Gracia 

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Author: Momina Tashfeen

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